Is Anger a
Problem For Me?
Our emotions are closely linked to our behaviour. If we don’t know how to manage our feelings, it can lead to a whole swag of unhelpful behaviour.
Many men report that anger is the emotion that causes the most problems. Although feeling angry is normal, some people report feeling angry a lot of the time or struggle to manager their anger. The sensations that intense anger stirs up are uncomfortable (e.g. racing heart, feeling hot and sweaty, doing ‘head miles’ or thinking obsessively about certain things). Even more troubling can be the behaviour prompted by anger, such as aggression, yelling, swearing, road rage, scaring the people around us and damaging our relationships. These kinds of behaviour can have serious consequences for our lives, particularly if there are legal ramifications.
If you’re concerned that anger or other emotions are causing changes in your behaviour and may be impacting those around you, take a look at the checklist below. How many apply to you?
- Feeling frequently stressed or wound up
- Going from ok to very angry very quickly
- Losing your temper at the smallest things
- Saying things you don’t mean, often in angry outbursts
- Frequent conflict with your partner, family or friends
- Engaging in physical violence
- Blaming others
- Holding grudges
- Bottling things up and not telling anyone about your anger
- Being passive-aggressive (e.g. , being snide or sarcastic, being stubborn or gaslighting others)
- Verbal aggression (e.g. yelling, screaming, name calling)
- Breaking things, punching walls or going for a wild drive
- Using drugs and alcohol to cope.
Learning how to control your anger and other emotions in constructive ways can lead to fewer problems, better relationships and improved ability to enjoy and live your life the way you want to. It doesn’t mean you won’t experience uncomfortable emotions, but you’ll be able to respond to them in a way that doesn’t cause problems or distress for you and those around you.
