Are My Relationships a
Problem For Me?

We’re all social creatures, and our relationships play a key role in living our best lives. When our relationships are going well, they can be a great source of support and a motivator to be the best version of ourselves.  But when there’s tension or conflict in our relationships it makes it hard to be at our best. It’s even harder when you have other issues like gambling, drinking too much, excessive gaming, or drug use because these behaviours can increase the friction in our relationships, and to escape the tension we often do more of them. 

It’s easy to get stuck in a vicious cycle – so it’s important to ask yourself whether the things you do are damaging your relationships and your wellbeing.

There are good times and tough times in every relationship, so how do you know whether your relationship issues are problems and if you need additional support? Below are some questions to ask yourself. They apply to intimate/partner relationships, but also relationships with your family members, children, parents, close friends or work colleagues.

Here are some relationship warning signs to look out for:

• Is your behaviour – or the other person’s behaviour – causing frequent arguments between you (think about behaviours such as drinking, drug use, aggression, gambling, withdrawal, time spent away from the family, etc.)
• Do you – or the other person – engage in the behaviour to avoid or escape?
• Are either of you feeling a lot of resentment about the behaviour/s?
• Are you worried about how your behaviour – or the other person’s behaviour – is impacting on important aspects of your/their life (such as health, family, work, finances etc.)?
• Is your behaviour – or theirs – getting in the way of intimacy, trust or affection in your relationship?
• Is the behaviour leading to aggression or physical altercations?
• Is the behaviour making it unsafe to share thoughts and feelings?
• Is the behaviour making it harder for you to live the life you want?
• Has communication broken down or is it often negative?
• Do you criticise or say hurtful things to each other?

If some of these things sound familiar it may be time to take steps to get your relationships back on track. Even if they don’t seem specifically relevant to you, if you’re concerned about your relationships – whether with your partner, family member, child, friend or colleague – Helm can help work through the issues and decide on next steps.