How Can Family and Friends Help?

These helpers can provide not only emotional support, but also practical assistance. They can make a critical difference to a person’s behaviour-change journey.

If you’re a family member, friend or support person to someone who’s struggling to manage their emotions, you can help in the following ways:

• Try to maintain a trusting relationship. This can be hard if there is a longstanding pattern of anger and aggression.
• Normalise the experience of strong emotions, but avoid reinforcing unhelpful coping behaviours or harmful reactions.
• Be available to listen. Telling the person what they should do probably won’t get a good response; instead, just be there, your presence is an invaluable support.
• Ask the person what helpful strategies they’ve used in the past to cope with emotions. Tell them about strategies that you’ve found helpful.
• Set boundaries to protect yourself and others. Don’t accept behaviour that is harmful to you and seek help if you’re at risk or feeling threatened.
• Look after your own wellbeing. Engage in self-care activities (like exercise and hobbies) to avoid feeling burnt out.
• Be aware of your own feelings when helping someone who’s experiencing ongoing emotional distress. Don’t shy away from seeking support for yourself.
• Encourage the person to seek professional help. The more support and help they have, the better their change journey will be.
• Offer them information about where they can seek help but avoid lecturing, threatening or punishing the person. Expressing anger can add to your loved one’s existing feelings of distress and exacerbate their problematic behaviours.