Where Do I Start?

Central to how we connect, emotions build relationships and allow us to feel close to others. Some people try to manage their difficult emotions by shutting them down, while others channel all their emotions into anger. These strategies don’t work and can lead to emotional numbness (feeling no emotions at all, not even good ones) or exploding when you can’t bottling things up anymore.

There are well-researched strategies that help you regain your emotional balance and manage your behaviour. These strategies become your ‘toolbox’ – on-hand solutions for handling your emotions in different situations.

When trying to master your emotions, your first goal is to decrease your anger to a manageable level. Here, your aim isn’t to stop feeling angry altogether; it’s to calm down to a level that allows you to handle the situation in a measured way.

Here’s a few things to try when you feel your emotions might be getting the better of you;

• Take a breath! Stop whatever you’re doing, and take 3 slow, deep breaths. If you still feel agitated (or distressed), do 3 more!
• If you notice you feel out of control, and might say or do something you’ll regret, remove yourself from the situation. This might mean ending a phone call, excusing yourself from a discussion, or changing your environment.
• It’s not advisable to take substances – drugs or alcohol – when you feel heighted, as they can exaggerate your already intense emotions.
• You may also consider not driving while feeling intense emotions. Such experiences can lead to reduced concentration and increased aggression.
• When calm, seek some feedback from valued and respected people in your life. Understanding the impacts of your emotions for those you care about can bring some increased perspective.
• If open to it, share your feelings with yourself. Writing can be a really great way to release emotions, privately, and can provide additional perspective when you’re no longer in an intense state.

The team at Helm can work with you to develop strategies to reduce your anger (or other strong emotions) to a manageable level. Our team can help you replace problematic coping strategies with healthy alternatives, allowing you to take charge of your emotions and their impact on your life.